


FAQ: Courting

by gatekat



Series: Gatekat's FAQ [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: FAQ, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:16:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatekat/pseuds/gatekat
Summary: The cultural norms for various cities/groups when it comes to the relationship process, it's milestones, markers and legal events.





	1. Polyhex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city I usually have Jazz from. Most residents have squared off sensor horns like he does in G1.

**Dating** : this is casual dating and is rarely exclusive. It is typically done in groups and involves talking, hanging out and flirting.

 **Promise gift** : this is an object that breaks into two perfect halves. Each half has some indication of who in the pairing it goes with. If the recipient returns the half with their marker on it they have accepted the proposal to become serious and one-on-one dating. Returning it all is refusing a more serious relationship while returning none is considered a cowardly way of breaking things off completely.

 **Serious dating** : Exclusive and cheating is a big deal.

 **Horn accessory** Engagement. This is a piece of jewelry that rest on the sensor horn. Most mecha make them a permanent horn inlay after bonding.

 **Conjunx** : legally 'bonded', filed with the government for spousal rights and typically celebrated with parties and a ceremony.

 **Conjunx endura** : spark bonded and more filing with the government. While there may be a ceremony or celebration involved it is not expected.


	2. Praxus

**Dating** : this is what we call dating. It's casual and at least normally it's fairly open to fooling around. Praxians aren't much on monogamy in general. It's a time to learn about each other and if you really get along. Socially one is expected to date at least 100 vorns before courting gifts are given. 

If a third is coming into a conjunx pair (or even a courting pair) the pair must have been together at least 100 vorns before dating begins. It is very important that the first dates for each of the pair be arranged in public and with both of the pair there to ensure it is clear that the single is not trying to go behind their back.

 **Courting Gifts** : This is a stage of between three to five vorns and fifty gifts where one mecha gives secret gifts to the other. Even if all involved (and most nearby) know who the giver is it is important that no one acknowledge it, even to the giver. It is very important that the gifts demonstrate a detailed and intimate knowledge of the recipient. The gifts do not need to be expensive (whatever that actually means to a given mecha) but they must be thoughtful. The recipient displays these gifts in a very public way, typically at work if they have a desk. The final gift (usually 51) will have the giver's designation on it. By displaying that the recipient says that the giver has been fully accepted and the actual courting begins.

 **Courting** : This is the period where the couple/triad are generally exclusive even if they won't be in the long run. This is a stage of at least 90 vorns that we don't really have an equivalency in the US. It is more than dating and less than engaged. The bulk of the burden is still on the one who gave the courting gifts.

 **Offering of a Home** This gift, offered personally and publicly, and in a location where the courtees could walk away and end the courtship with no questions asked, was the final step of the opening phase. Their public acceptance would indicate a serious interest in continuing, and the burden of courting would shift to both sides. The Helix Garden is a popular location, though anywhere of a similar public nature where walking away isn't in and of itself awkward, will do.

The gift: A rectangular plate engraved with a sequence of glyphs beginning with the designation of the one being courted and ending with the designation of the courter. Between the formal designations is the address of the courter's home and the statement that the mecha listed above are authorized all use of it as their own.

Excerpt from [Starcrossed ch 32](http://archiveofourown.org/works/637909/chapters/1513464) of the scene

_"May I join you?" came the sudden soft request from behind, spoken by a dark mech with properly canted wings and ritual-laced subharmonics, leaving no doubt that this was a formal request made by an interested, and serious, suitor. Radiance stood several paces back, far enough that he could still be considered to not be with them if they declined, holding his arm out and looking slightly worse for wear, with his carefully applied finish from earlier now dulled and scratched in places, but still as beautiful as ever to his mates._

_The scene had the immediate attention of everyone in range, every conversation quieted and steps halted to watch. Though this was a moment between the three mechs, it was still socially expected that everyone who could witness it would stop and do so. As many traditions that had fallen to the wayside, this one was still firmly entrenched in every strata of Praxian society._

_Prowl turned to face Radiance and took his public role as the dominant member of his pairing. With a warm, welcoming smile that left no doubt to the honesty of his actions, he extended his hand in welcome and greeting, palm up for peace. "We would be pleased if you would."_

_"I am honored," Radiance answered, placing his palm over Prowl's, with a truly grateful dip of his wings before he turned to Jazz, smiling. "And truly blessed. Thank you." He fell in step with them on the other side of Prowl and they began walking again, moving at the same slow pace, in companionable silence, getting knowing smiles from everyone they passed._

_After enough time had passed, Radiance put his hand on Prowl's arm, guiding them to the side of the path. Again all who noticed paused to witness, to fulfil one of the happier roles of society, and the three involved were alive with energy. Despite how well they all knew how the offer would be answered, in this moment the weight of the ritual set in and swept them up in nervous excitement._

_Dipping his doorwings down in submission and acceptance of their absolute authority in the moment, Radiance drew two rectangular plates. Each was engraved with a sequence of glyphs beginning with Pantera or Saxo and ending with Radiance. Between the formal designations was the address of his home and the statement that the mecha listed above were authorized all use of it as their own._

_"Will you accept the key to my home, so it may be our home?" Radiance asked, his voice trembling faintly with the weight of the moment and all it implied._

_Despite how long he'd had the codes to that residence, Prowl still drew in a sharp vent as his optics brightened. He reached out and placed his hand over the plate with his designation on it, claws warm against Radiance's metal skin for a moment and held there, the gift between them, warming._

_"Yes, Radiance. I would make my home with you."_

_Radiance fought against the surge of excitement that went through him, managing to get it down to just a quick flutter in his wings before looking to Jazz. Each partner needed to accept on his own._

_Jazz smiled back, covering the other plate with his palm. "I would happily make my home with you, Radiance."_

_Joyful, celebratory trills sounded out from the witnesses around them, mecha who were all grinning, delighted for the chance to observe the courting ritual, and Radiance barely heard any of it as he stepped forward into the tight embrace of his lovers. A moment later, the trills switched to encouraging whistles and Radiance laughed in true, honest bliss as he gave in and turned first to claim his rightful kiss from Prowl, and then from Jazz, to the cheers of everyone watching._

_Ritual completed, traffic along the paths slowly began to move again, leaving the forming triad to themselves where they stood huddled off to the side._

**Painting** : This happens shortly after _Offering of a Home_. The designs may be simple or complex, in one color or several. It will always contain the designation of the one(s) claiming the pained mech and any of a dozen or so glyphs or symbols indicating they are intended to bond. It is central to the ritual that the one making the claim does the painting, sealing, waxing and polishing. Before any of them are seen in public again all will be painted. Traditionally the one who did the courting will bind the other in a suspended kneel to do the painting.

The paint is energon based and very expensive, though the cost has as much to do with the niche market as it does the cost of production. The top end of such paint is created with the energon of the one who will do the painting.

Typically the newly intended will have a few orns off together that are usually spend in a berth.

When a pair is courted they do not need to have the same design. While there are many examples and templates for the artistically challenged it is considered a good sign when the design is reflective of the mecha wearing it.

 **Intended** : This is the period while painted. It is much like dating but is very serious and very exclusive even if they don't intend to be a closed triad/pair in the end. It is most unusual to break things off at this stage. While not universal by any means, those that can afford it will continue to add glyphs and markings to each other's doorwings during this period. It lasts a minimum of 100 vorns.

During this time it is common to go on vacation, and if courting a pair, that it be only two mecha at a time. Events to show singular focus on one of them.

 **Bonding Ceremony** : This is a public ceremony/celebration that is the social half of becoming conjunx. It is not legally required but anyone who goes to the trouble of courting, Offering of a Home, painting and all the time will surely do this too.

Notices/invitation are traditionally sent out four metacycles before the event.

Either a priest or justice of the peace can perform it legally. While most are in a temple it can be anywhere.

Excerpt from [Starcrossed ch 36](http://archiveofourown.org/works/637909/chapters/1554094) of the scene

_The remaining guests, a mixture of Enforcers from Prowl and Radiance's units, arrived fairly close together and on time. By the time the Justice of the Peace walked down the center aisle to the slightly raised podium where he would oversee the ceremony, those observing were seated and ready, while Prowl, Jazz, Radiance, and Radiance's creators waited to the side._

_The Justice of the Peace smiled at the gathering, then cleared his vocalizer out. "As per the request of the Intendeds, there will be no prayers offered this orn, nor am I here to lead a ceremony, only to observe and witness the legality of this union. And," he chuckled, "I must say, it is some of the best legal filing I have seen in my lifetime." He turned to the waiting mecha and gestured for them to move into the center ring, lowered slightly into the ground, with six small pools forming a triangle, alternating between a clear liquid and a light blue. "We may begin."_

_Prowl, Jazz, and Radiance stepped forward first, and there was no hiding the excitement in Radiance's frame from the tilt and quiver of his doorwings, every micron of them covered with the courtship paintings. His Intendeds were much the same, though calmer than he was. They knelt together in the center of the circle, facing each other in a triangle, and grasped each other's hands as the other three walked up behind them._

_Contact stood behind Radiance, Brava behind Prowl, and Mira behind Jazz, each one of them just as excited, if not more, than their creation. White cloth was pulled from subspace, and dipped into the blue pools._

_"Will you allow us to clean your wings and erase the marks of a courtship well-executed, in favor of bonding and beginning your lives together?" Brava asked._

_All three lifted their doorwings in clear affirmative. The creators exchanged a smile all around, and then held cloth to metal and rubbed in careful, broad strokes, dissolving away the clear sealant that had kept the paintings so carefully protected during the long courtship. The intricate designs smeared under the chemicals and the work continued silently but for the contented engine purring until both backs and fronts had been completely gone over, and the cloths were switched for clean ones, which went into the clear pools._

_These pressed against the metal and liquid dripped down, cutting a path through the paint, revealing the colors underneath for the first time in over a century in some places. Fields flared warmly at the work being done, the old triad helping the new in a cherished part of their society._

_Each one was rubbed down with dry cloth and then repolished before the creators stepped back, looking proudly at their creation and his Intendeds for a moment before Contact pulled a silk loop out of his subspace. All three stood and faced each other once again and the loop was draped around them before the creators took their place in the audience._

_The vow they recited in unison had been carefully chosen, ancient and full of a deep spiritual connection to the very existence of a spark, one that celebrated the touch and taste of a lover's spark, rather than any higher power. As they finished, the Justice of the Peace stepped forward, holding a single datapad._

_"I have here the final officiating document, requiring only the verified signature from each, that will signify the full, binding, legal union of this triad. Pantera," he called the first designation._

_Prowl broke from his mates and stepped forward, pressing his hand to the datapad, adding his signature before returning to them. Radiance was called next, then Jazz, and once they were all reunited in the center, with family and friends as witness, the Justice of the Peace pressed his own signature to the document, smiled, and stepped back. "It is done," he said, simply, warmly. "You are triad."_

**Bonding** : This is the physical spark bonding. While it often takes place the night of the bonding ceremony there is no law requiring it. However, to upgrade conjunx (legally bonded) to conjunx endura (spark bonded) one must fill out additional legal forms. What proof the jurisdiction requires will vary. Some take signing the forms as enough and these locations will often accept both filings at once. Others require a medical exam to confirm the physical bond. It is not uncommon for those that intend to bond to spend no longer than the bond requires to settle (10 minimum and can be longer) before becoming conjunx endura if an exam is required.

 **Chevron Tattoo** : While not a legal requirement by any means it is common. There is a basic design with all member designations there is a great deal of latitude involved. At the cheap end no color is added; it is only the engraving. Most who do this have the finances to have it painted. At the high end it is inlaid with precious metals and even strategically placed gemstones and gem dust.


	3. Odds and Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traditions that aren't set by location or time or are widespread enough they don't belong to a single group.

Gems to decorate your mate. Often in your colors or a mix but can be purely decorative. From [Tradition](http://archiveofourown.org/works/785837) by [eerian_sadow](http://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow)


End file.
